The Groupie Phenomenon (and other things that shit me)…

After reading Tony Martins latest blog, and the things that have been going on in my life over the last few weeks, I’ve been thinking about the groupie phenomenon again…
Why would a gal be with the most butt ugly guy ever? I asked myself that question everytime I would see the little weedy guy who was once in “Taxiride”(yeah remember them?), drag yet another girl into the toilet at a gig…

I’m genuinely a very shy person, it takes me a lot to trust… So I get frustrated at what I see as my cowardice, and drink to overcome it and the inevitable hi-jinx ensue…

This on plenty of occasions has caused me to be misconstrued, seen as a slut, or a groupie… I’m not down with any of it, especially after I’d heard somone saying I was only friends with a few of my friends to get closer to a band I loved… To that I still say fuck you, as I do things at my own pace, and if it takes time for people to see the real me, at least I know they are worth it. They stuck it out, and now they get me. In regards to the bands, actors and comedians, again, I’ll talk to them when we have something to talk about… Not just cause I want to get in their faces and say hi… Not my style…

I don’t sleep with people because of their status, or who they know. I’m
Extremely picky with the boys I like, I like brains over anything else.
There’s something about a smart man that entrances me….and blue eyes for that matter. Verbal, linguistic, men, those who know how to speak, colloquially, and precisely… And most of all, those who are as intense as I…

Notes on the one that got away…

…and waking up from a 3 week daze…

…what a mental 3 weeks.

I’ve had a fantastic 3 weeks, Tripod 8 times in 3 weeks (why? You ask. You tell me and we’ll both know, because I’m not really sure), seeing Justin Hamilton doing the coda to his 3 Colours Hammo Trilogy, meeting Tony Martin(making an arse of myself), and seeing Children Collide, I’d say its been the most amazing 3 weeks.
I’ve spent more time in Fitzroy than I have in a long time, I miss it as soon as I cross Alexandra Parade into Clifton Hill. I can’t explain my love for this little web of existence in the North of Melbourne.
I walked down Bell street the other week, after one of my many nights at Trades Hall, and ached at the thought that I wasn’t walking into one of those houses to go home. I hate leaving the place, I feel at peace while I’m there.
It’s one of the only places on this planet that I feel so calm in. Even when there’s people there I hate, and I don’t think deserve to live within its warm loving arms. Do they know why this place is so special? Do they understand that it’s not the “cool” factor of Fitzroy, it’s not being seen in the right places(I’m going to be crucified, I’ve tried to love Mario’s, but I can’t, I’d rather be in the Marqis of Lorne. Maybe someone can recommend something nice from Mario’s for me to try? I might change my mind.), it’s just home, the smells, the sights, the sounds… I’ve never felt more at home than I do there. There’s nothing I’d change about the place, even though it’s changed so very much over the years.

I can’t wait to move into my own place there. Hoping that by some kind of miraculous miracle that I find somewhere I can affrord without living below the poverty line! There’s nothing like walking the streets of Fitzroy as the sun is setting or rising. There’s nothing like a beautiful Fitzroy afternoon, wandering down Brunswick Street the warmth of the sun warming my tired winter bones. Great food, great friends, the sounds of good music coming from houses, the sounds of people having parties/BBQ’s/Dinner Parties, and just happiness in general.

I should blog more often I know…

Yeah, yeah I should blog more often.

I had something to blog about the other day, but I’ve completely forgotten what it was about.

May have been Myanmar, my shows, wanting to rip off Zimmerman & Sass & Bide, my dislike of Alannah Hill’s design (no form, no feed, and clashing together as many different textures and colours as you can into one outfit doesn’t make you cutting edge.), the tremendous help I’ve had from lecturers at my work on my show, the fact that things are pretty good.
I always wonder when things are going to go to shit in periods like this. “When will the world slap me upside the head?” I ponder…

I got my reading mojo back, it started with Harry Potter, then a little Shakespeare, now P&P, One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s nest, and Breakfast at Tiff’s. It’s nice to have it back, as I think next year I’ll have my head back in the books.

The show is really starting to write itself, which is such a fantastic feeling, its flowing, and these scripts are blowing me away.
While they’re all running on the same premise, the strength of every show always lies in a different area, which is what I wanted. They had to be strong in different parts, I want people to come to at least one or two of the weeks wondering how we’ll challenge the improvisors, and also not knowing what to expect.

I’m going to go back to my original solo-show idea, I made the newer version of the show too complicated for the moment.

Things at the moment are going well, which is nice. Doesn’t take much for my nerves to kick in though.

Oh and work is busy, and even days like today, when I kept getting errors when running reports, I still enjoy it. I really like my job, and really love what I do. I also really believe in the course, partially because I want to do it, and combine it with an LLM at NYU.
Bah, have to get through Arts/Psych first!

Just feels like everythings going really well, and it was me that made it go well. My life turned around, not miraculously, not because someone took pity on me, but because I worked to turn it around.

And the beat goes on…

Firstly, thank god things have been fixed at The Tote! We shall see its beer soaked floors again! We shall rock out, we shall drink too much and bully the Juke Box. We shall play pool on that spew soaked table again.  We shall delight at the like of the Meanies, Digger and the Pussycats, and countless other bands we love.  We shall drink amazing cocktails in the Cobra Bar, and indulge in our love of Sissies and Sluts.

*big sigh of relief*

Welcome to Suburbia…

The signs out the front emblazoned with bright fluro yellow lettering, begging us to relive the glory days in suburbia.  “Kevin ‘Bloody’ Wilson, 17th May. 18+ only!”, “Psuedo Echo and Wa Wa Knee, 15th May, 18+ only”.  My mind boggles, what in the hell am I doing here?
I grew up in the outer northern leafy suburbs, not this main-roaded continuum of non-existence.  Where I lived, the cherry blossoms bloomed every spring, I rode my bike to the park, or the vacant lot down the street, in which we would set-up jumps and obstacles, and didn’t care if we hurt ourselves.  We loved bad music, and were not afraid to say it, A.K.A. Reasons I know all the lyrics, to Rick Astley, Bros, Belinda Carlisle, and Girlfriend(oh, and all the words to “We are the World”, USAforAFRICA!).  I remember when Michael Jordan’s Air Pumps were the ultimate accessory for anyone to have.  I remember the last time it was cool to wear leotards to places other than your gym, or dance class.  I remember going to see “Big” at Northland Shopping Centre cinemas, and thinking that Tom Hanks was the most outrageously hilarious person ever!  Or the first time I saw The Karate Kid, Ralph Macchio was SO dreaammmyyy!  Also remember friday nights in front of the TV with fish ‘n’ chips, 21 Jump Street and a video to watch.

Anyways enough with reminiscing….

After living no further than 1 – 2 kms from the city/Fitzroy for the better part of the last 1 1/2 years, being back in The Burbs is safe-to-say, an interesting experience.  I’m starting to feel the inklings of depression, but I refuse to give up, or go there again.
I’m used to the walk up Johnston street, where the only signs I notice are the ones on either side of the Tote, reminding me yet again that I missed Digger.  Or the new mural on the side of the Night Cat, which is slowly coming together, it makes me smile.  As does the new mural on the inside right hand wall of the ex-wick, its bright and colourful.  Has that kinda dirty Brunswick Street, non-yuppie, dirty-hippie, burning-the-patchouli-incense kinda feel I love.

Suburban Blues…

I got the suburban blues.
The low-down-dirty-suburban-blues.

I want my inner-city comfort back.

Actually I want my own little slice of the inner-city.

Fitzroy is home, its my happy place at the moment(well it has been for about 10 years). Unless of course when I go overseas I find another happy place(NYC anyone?). Fitzy is it.

Feel like I’ve grown up there, I skipped classes at Tafe to go sit in cafes and read when I was 18/19/20.  I’ve fallen for 10 different Fitzroy boys in the last 10 years! That’s right, count ‘em TEN!
I can name all of them too, egads! But I won’t.

I do wonder whatever happened to Brendan and Jack though, I’m sure I saw Jack about 5 years ago walking out from the milkbar and I ran.
I do however know that one of them is now in a rather large band I loved, and still do have my moments with. Andy Andy Eyecandy, best guns on the planet, and I blushed the day he lent over me and asked if there was anything interesting in Beat that day(he smelt sooo good!).  I’m meant to forget idiotic moments like that right?
Or the night that my bar crush took me aside and told me he wanted to chain me up and spank me(oh please don’t let my mum read this!), he disgustingly enough had/has a girlfriend. I decided against going near the bar again, on the grounds that he was a sleeze! Sad though, as they make the best hot chocolate on the planet, and his specialty was strawberry daquari’s, and they were goood!

There’s the Punters, gone and lost. The amazing gigs I saw there, I shan’t forget(The Meanies, Klinger, and Mrs Pinkwhistle, BEST GIG EVER!!!!), and I’ll never forget the last night of drunken frivolity.
Nights at the Evelyn(or the evilyn, depending on what happens really!), Pop, punk, giggles, and great music. Unforunately I never got to go to the Ev’ before it was reno’d, so no old school “I remember when the stage was at the front of the room” stuff from me.
The Vegie Bar, which I like, but used to love, they have gotten better, there was a period of blah though. The food wasn’t as good.
Joe’s Garage, great food, and lovely staff. I’ve never had bad food, or not felt relaxed or at home there.
Red Tongue, food good, staff lovely, good for a Sat/Sun morn brunch.
The Hideout, I miss, with all my sweet lil heart. Well I miss when Mary was managing it.
Akari 77, great Japanese food! I loooovvveee it!
Red Rice was okay.
Nights at Bar Open, lordy lord. Sometimes it’s bizarre. Okay embarrassing admission, I licked a random boys tattoo there one night, not sure why, safe to say that copious amounts of beer had been consumed!
The Spanish Club <3 . My first night at Spanish Club, was the night that Tripod won me over. Was Radiohead night too. I remember 3 distinct moments that night, 2nd Drawer Down going for faarrrrrrr too long, The Gatesy Brigade sitting in front of me getting confused by the Tron joke, and me laughing my arse off, and The Gatsey Brigade hunting Gatesy down at the end of the night. I had honestly never seen a group of girls swarm a man so fast in my life. Well apart from Chris from TLE, but even they seemed not as vulturish. I said I wasn’t going to be one of those gals, technically I wasn’t, but I did kind of, in my own special way! I should go and see them again, am waiting for the rock opera we’ve been promised!
The Rob Roy, ahh so many good gigs! I’ve seen some great gigs there. I walked through the other night on my way to Trades, its different, and there were lots of business attired people in there. Where the hell is the band room now? Sad to see they couldn’t fix that steep stoop into the gals toilets, I’ve nearly fallen down that thing a billion times!!

Brunswick Street Bookstore <3!
Sheila Vintage, the new vintage shop, they actually have some nice stuff!
Polyester Books and Music… mmmm
Grub St books.

The list goes on, I should be living in Fitzroy.
If home is where the heart is, then I lost mine in Fitzroy.

The Psychobabbling muse – herein she starts…

Psych pushes me to think outside of my square, it pushes me to think in general, and I can study so many different facets of the world that intriuge and scare me, and understand them through the eye’s of the mind.

If I’m afraid of something, I seek knowledge to understand it.

I hate reading newspapers or watching the news. I hate reading headlines, and even moreso I hate reading over-sensationalised peices of faff from people who have only studied the piece of information they are reporting on for about 48 hours. Not really down with over-sensationalised reporting in general.

I find places like Twitter and Facebook amusing and interesting. I like the fact that we can recieve real up-to-date, moment by moment, from the ground reporting with this technology.

I’ve met a lot of people over time that I never thought I would learn from, but have taught me some of the most amazing things.

I love to learn about culture, I dislike reading about it, but I love to listen to people speak about their culture, how they live in it, and why they live the way they do. I love to learn, and I find talking to and learning from others is the best way to do it. I love to sit and listening to people speak, one of the reasons I enjoy comedy I suppose. I love to watch people tell stories, to be able to make fun of ridiculous situations.

If I can’t get my head around something I ask questions. I question everything. I question peoples reasoning for doing certain things, and they don’t like it, but I’ll keep on questioning. My enquiring mind does not stop.

I’m used to being ignored, but I don’t deal with it very well.
My brain works at odds with itself at times, I really want your attention, but once I get it, sometimes I don’t know what to do with it. Those negative thoughts fill my mind, and I used to listen to them, as I thought they defined who I was. Now I shall sit with them, and let them be there, but also counter-act them with the sensible side of my brain.

A few articles that will pop up over the next few days…
-Psychological revelations about who I am at this particular point in time, what is changing in my world, and how I am dealing with the changes. An on-going body of work, making me feel all Freudian, maybe it’ll help someone else someday.
- Growing up and leaning about the world, what I thought was slow, but was actually earlier than I realised. Remembering my tweens(back then we were just kids, and we still are) and how that part of my life really shaped who I am today.
- Music, music, music, and more music.
- Laws of attraction, realising why I always like the “bad boys”, and why the nice guys always get lost in the crowd.
- Comedians, why I love them, why laughter is one of the best forms of medicine, who my comedic heroes are, and why.
- Why a well written piece of prose, can be amazing on paper, but when translated to a spoken submission, all the laughs get lost.