The psychobabbling food-loving seamstress.

Heartfelt…

Posted in Uncategorized by Ambs on May 18, 2009

At times the loss consumes her.  She ponders hours upon hours, why she put so much in, to have it thrown back in her face.  The worst of it is over, she’s not sure how well she hid her tears.  Not very well she suspects.

While we’re all fighting inner-turmoil and demons, how often to we open our eye’s and even try to contemplate that the person next to us is fighting their own?  We could never fully understand what that person is going through, could never fully comprehend.  From person to person one experience is percieved in such different ways.  We often mis-percieve difference as wrong and right, it’s either black or white(of opinions), Rose or Green(when it comess to love and relationships), or Blue or red(when emotionally involved).  When will we learn to see the grey area’s the encompass the middle of these spectrums?

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You know your becoming a piece of the carpet when…

Posted in Uncategorized by Ambs on May 15, 2009

…you have those old battle ground stories from venues that have past.

…you have reno stories of venues that are still standing.

and…you can name a band in every venue in Melbourne that you fell in love with, in its hallowed walls.

I’m still coming to terms with the fact that we nearly lost the Tote this week. It’s a bizarre concept.  I couldn’t imagine The Tote going without a massive send-off like the Punter’s had.  I’d hope that the Melbourne Music community would not let that happen.  It was heartbreaking enough to lose The Punter’s, and not because it was devastating loss to the scene, but because of the memories(or lack-there-of in some cases) that the venue held for anyone involved, from Punter’s, to Bookers, to Bar Staff, to Bands, Everyone.

I’ve always been resolute to the thought that a venue can also make or break a good gig.  No matter how many people try to tell me that a good band will have a great gig in any venue, or that there’s nothing such as “atmosphere”.  That my friends is a load of Bollocks.  If a band has no appreciation for where they are playing, I find they are more lax with their playing, which means no passion, which means no connection, which equals shit gig.  As far as I’m concerned every band, no matter how big or small, should play every gig like it’s their last.

A list of Melbourne’s 10 best venues came out this week…voted by, I’m not sure who!?!?

10. East Brunswick Club –  I really like this venue, I have been a few times, I enjoy myself, and their sound is good.  No qualms here.
9. The Ding Dong Lounge  –  Ahh the now hallowed walls of Dongers.  I’ve seen some rip-roaring gig’s there.  Most of my favourites have been local bands.  My official favourite night was the night Ben Birchall and Dave Roger’s played together.  Two of my fav boys, and they did the most amazing cover of “Handle with Care” that night.
8. The Espy (and all associated rooms) – Ahh…. The Espy.  May your hallowed walls fill me with happiness(I giggle everytime I walk past that pic of Scotty O playing the Gersch for the IFYOG launch! Also smile like a goofball when I walk past the pics of Strummer and PJ) and beer(sometimes warm), your cheap pizza sucks.  Your parma’s aren’t bad, and your Front Bar has amazing sound and an atmosphere which is second to none on the right Friday or Saturday night.  I have a dream at the moment, and that is that I get to see Paul Kelly do a gig in The Espy Front bar, that would make me supremely happy!
7. Billboard The Venue – BLAH! That is all. I like to hear my bands, not subliminal distortion.
6. Toff in Town – Oh the Toff, you are awesome-tastic!  I really love the Toff, whether it’s rooftop cinema, or quiet beers on the roof, with the amazing view of my home-town, or an amazing gig.  They make good Pimms here too.  🙂
5. The Hi.Fi Bar  –  Oh my, Comedy, Music, I’ve enjoyed it all here. Favourite gig EVER @ the HiFi, ANDREW WK!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!  The Living End with Trav on double kick bass drum, coming a close second! Oh, and Justin Hamilton MC’ing Comedy Fest club on my birthday this year! SCORE!
4. Corner Hotel  –  The Corner, I have seen all of my favourite bands within you.  I’ve laughed, cried, hugged, and screamed myself silly many times.  You make my favourite Parma in Melbourne, I just wish you had Heiniken on the menu, that is my only complaint.  Crownies do suffice though. Thank You, Thank You, Thank You.
3. Palace (Formerly Metro) Nightclub  –  Hmmm… I’m not sure. I think Metro, I think Rebar, I think GOO.  I’ve not been to a gig here yet, I couldn’t imagine anything but what the place looks like at some ungodly hour of a Friday morning looking at a cute tattoo’d boy through beer goggles.
2. Prince of Wales  –  Another venue I’m at odd’s with.  I’m not sure you deserve 2nd place. You have poles that like to get in my way all the time.  I will give you credit for the fact that you have good sound. I’m not sure I would place you in second though.
1. The Forum  –  Never have I ever seen a bad gig here.  Sound is always amazing, atmosphere as soon as you walk through the Glass doors.  This is the last bastion of smallish show before you start to do larger more stadium like gigs(Festy Hall would be next on the list!).  It has atmosphere, and as sad as it sounds, you feel like your connecting from any place in the room.  More lighting on the Stairs though thanks. No one else needs to hurt themselves here.

A few places that wern’t mentioned(past and present):

The Punters Club(RIP)  –  Oh my, I got kicked out of The Punters Club once for screaming too loudly.  Which probabaly sounds funny as it was an amazing venue in which many people screamed in, the only problem for me was that I was in the front bar and I was screaming my freinds name, “ttaashhhh, ttasshh, where are you ttaasshhh?” *cue bouncers taking me by the arm and putting me out on the street* I scammed my way back in, only to be kicked out again within 10 minutes!
My first ever real pub gig was at The Punter’s, I went and saw this little band on a thursday night called Klinger, and that’s where it all started.
The Evelyn  –  Another Fitzroy institution, I’ll admit it has been awhile since I’ve been to to The Ev.  I miss it, I’ve seen some amazing shows there, stand outs were Ignite/Sommerset, Gordon Gaino/Dave McCormack, and numerous Klinger/Pinkwhistle/etc gigs…
Northcote Social Club  –  Oh my, I love you NSC.  Great food, good beer, great atmosphere, very homely, much like The Punter’s, and of course for the obvious reasons.  I once followed Chris Cheney around this pub like a Puppy Dog… oops.  I shall never do that again!  Well I’ll try anyways.
Rob Roy(RIP)  –  I was at odd’s with the Rob for a long long time.  I’ve seen some really good gigs there though.  Sad its been changed to the Newtown Workers Club, and is there still a bandroom?  Miss seeing Mr Cash’s welcoming finger everytime I walk into the room.

I love Melbourne, nothing could compare to what it feels like to go and see my favourite local bands here.  Nothing could compare to songs about my favourite places being sung in my favouruite pubs.

And the beat goes on…

Posted in general musings, love, music by Ambs on May 15, 2009

Firstly, thank god things have been fixed at The Tote! We shall see its beer soaked floors again! We shall rock out, we shall drink too much and bully the Juke Box. We shall play pool on that spew soaked table again.  We shall delight at the like of the Meanies, Digger and the Pussycats, and countless other bands we love.  We shall drink amazing cocktails in the Cobra Bar, and indulge in our love of Sissies and Sluts.

*big sigh of relief*

RIP Charles “Bud” Tingwell

Posted in Uncategorized by Ambs on May 15, 2009

It’s the smallest memories that can bring a tear to one’s eye.  While I may not have known Charles “Bud” Tingwell very well, he made my day each time he came into my bakery when I was 21.  At the time I was living a miserable existence, not a happy camper at all.  The smallest compliments or conversations would brighten my day.
He made me laugh, and when I was younger laugh and Cry(as Gramps!), he was is a true legend, and one of the last “true Aussie blokes”.
I’ll never forget walking through my local supermarket and listening to him chastising the shop assistant about how little they knew about our local film and movie industry.
Rest In Peace Bud, I hope you’ve found some solace now, and that we can keep your dreams alive. 🙂
Cheers
Amber G

Welcome to Suburbia…

Posted in general musings, love, music, writing by Ambs on May 5, 2009

The signs out the front emblazoned with bright fluro yellow lettering, begging us to relive the glory days in suburbia.  “Kevin ‘Bloody’ Wilson, 17th May. 18+ only!”, “Psuedo Echo and Wa Wa Knee, 15th May, 18+ only”.  My mind boggles, what in the hell am I doing here?
I grew up in the outer northern leafy suburbs, not this main-roaded continuum of non-existence.  Where I lived, the cherry blossoms bloomed every spring, I rode my bike to the park, or the vacant lot down the street, in which we would set-up jumps and obstacles, and didn’t care if we hurt ourselves.  We loved bad music, and were not afraid to say it, A.K.A. Reasons I know all the lyrics, to Rick Astley, Bros, Belinda Carlisle, and Girlfriend(oh, and all the words to “We are the World”, USAforAFRICA!).  I remember when Michael Jordan’s Air Pumps were the ultimate accessory for anyone to have.  I remember the last time it was cool to wear leotards to places other than your gym, or dance class.  I remember going to see “Big” at Northland Shopping Centre cinemas, and thinking that Tom Hanks was the most outrageously hilarious person ever!  Or the first time I saw The Karate Kid, Ralph Macchio was SO dreaammmyyy!  Also remember friday nights in front of the TV with fish ‘n’ chips, 21 Jump Street and a video to watch.

Anyways enough with reminiscing….

After living no further than 1 – 2 kms from the city/Fitzroy for the better part of the last 1 1/2 years, being back in The Burbs is safe-to-say, an interesting experience.  I’m starting to feel the inklings of depression, but I refuse to give up, or go there again.
I’m used to the walk up Johnston street, where the only signs I notice are the ones on either side of the Tote, reminding me yet again that I missed Digger.  Or the new mural on the side of the Night Cat, which is slowly coming together, it makes me smile.  As does the new mural on the inside right hand wall of the ex-wick, its bright and colourful.  Has that kinda dirty Brunswick Street, non-yuppie, dirty-hippie, burning-the-patchouli-incense kinda feel I love.

Self-Awareness Vs. Ego.

Posted in general musings, psychology, writing by Ambs on May 4, 2009

In my book, I hope that Self-awareness wins out.  Well I’d hope that for everyone.

I’ve been thinking about the people I’ve come across, and thought that they had MASSIVE EGO’s. When maybe its more of a self-awareness thing.  Which completely changes my view of some people.   In a positive way.
Although, I still think others feed off their own Ego, and some peoples lack-there-of self-awareness or Ego.  I sit back and wonder how, at your age, you could be so utterly unaware of your egotism?

I salute those with a healthy amount of self-awareness and ego.  As I think that ego does play a healthy role in all of our lives, as long as it is balanced.  Self-Awareness and Ego are easily confused.  Ego is the physical form of who you are, what people see, putting your best foot forward so to speak.  Self-Awareness however feeds ones ego, and in some cases an inflated ego comes from a distorted form of self-awareness.
Sometimes we’re all guilty of letting our ego’s runaway into la la land.  I don’t understand elongated periods of egocentricity though.  There’s a difference to knowing what you’re talking about, being able to talk about it with passion and confidence, and being unaware of your egocentricity.  Those who allow their opinions to be, the be all and end all on a subject, points to some kind of distortion.  As an opinion is just that, an opinion.  It does not void anyone’s thoughts, feelings or the way that you should treat them.

Marqis of Lorne…

Posted in food, love, nom nom, writing by Ambs on May 4, 2009

… oh how I love thee.

My favourite Melbourne Pub(well maybe equal first along with, The Napier, The Rose, and The Corner), although my two favourite things have disappeared off their menu, Steak Sandwich and Chicken Parma???? WTF!? What happened?

Although I did have the most extremely amazing meal there on Sat, home made Chicken and Sweet Corn Soup, and Braised Lamb Shanks, OMG! So good, had the meat sweats after, too much meat!

Thinking of Parma’s, as I have been craving one for well over a week, I’m going back to The Corner soon to get my Fix. I think The Corner’s Parma’s are my favourite in Melbourne.

What’s your favourite Pub to get your Parma & pot fix?

Whats your your fav Melbourne Pub?

writing, applying, general musings…

Posted in comedy, fashion, general musings, giggles, nom nom, writing by Ambs on May 4, 2009

I resolve to write a new Psychomuse blog every morning, or night, once I get a new job.

So here’s today’s.

*iTunes on* Ray Charles swinging in the background.

I watched the Logies last night, as everyone did, as I did I spent a whole lotta time on Twitter reading peoples updates from the show.  I laughed alot.  Poor Gretel though, it’s a hard gig getting on stage at anytime, even worse when you’ve got a room full of D-grade celebs catching up.  Dave Hughes and Wil Anderson’s spots were great.
My highlight though were the Gold Logie War Room sketches, special mention goes to the ever talented and amazing Kate McLennan, and Justin Kennedy.  Amazing job by two of this cities incredibly talented comedians.

I’m writing my new stand-up spot, and have had some amazing advice.  Thank you, you know who you are, I really appreciate the help.

Also writing Vyv/Violet, annoyingly my marketing of this show has a clearer objective than the actual show does at the moment.   But she’s coming along, slowly but surely. Vyv is the self-aware, smart, grown-up. While you have the contrasting ditzy innocence of Violet.  Many lessons learnt on the way, it’ll be a roller coaster ride and a fun one at that.

Act your age…

Posted in comedy, general musings, relationships, writing by Ambs on May 3, 2009

It’s the phrase I keep hearing time and time again.

You couldn’t believe how frustrating it is to hear those words, but then again, they have promted me to re-evaluate.
Actually look at the way I’ve been dealing with stressors in my life, look at the way I deal with those closest to me not understanding why I am like I am.

The answers are slowly coming together.
It’s taken a long time to look at the rejections in my life, and not think that they were a set back, but a learning experience.
I was incredibly jealous of people who could skate better than I did, and for some bizarre reason I equated the love of my parents to how good a skater I was. Which I know deep down is crap. My parents loved and still do love me, they just want the best for me.
Same with my sister and brothers.
I’m learning to form my own opinions and beliefs. I think I’m really scared I’ll never find a way to function through the Depression and Anxiety.
I am getting there, it’s hard when people are so confused, and even harder when all I try to do is appease everyone else in the room, rather than appeasing myself.

Appeasing myself is really hard, as it means I have to make decisions that could lead to more rejections. I’ve spent the last 10 years avoiding rejection, not believing that anyone else knew what it was like(yet I listen to heart broken country-alt-pop, and connect? Hmmm).  I had myself convinced that I was the only one that hurt. Which again is bizarre, as I’ve counseled friends back together, and also out of ruts.  Sometimes I’ve gotten pissed off, as after counseling them, which I shouldn’t have done, it has left me so emotionally crippled, that I can’t function myself(then that has repocussions on people who see whats happens when I become self-destructive).  There’s so many people out there that need help and I find them all the time.  But I can’t help them anymore, I need to focus on me(actually edit, I can help them, but if we’re close I can’t, you need go get real help, as I’m not a psych just yet, and even then I’d be sending you to someone else, as we’re too close. ).  Forging forward, looking back every once in awhile, but not getting stuck in dream world(Kenny Koala was awesome though!).

Getting stuck into my writing however is allowed.  Vyv is the person I aspire to be, Violet was me for years, and I’m standing at that junction that will take me to Vyv, and I’m doing what needs to be done to become her.  She’s the hard one to write, but I’m getting there. Violet’s ditzy innocence I know like the back of my hand, as I’ve lived it, now I’m traversing into Vyv territory, which is scary, but I can do it.

This whole belief in myself thing is really bizarre, its an interesting road, and at the same time an incredibly hard road.  How does someone whose based all of her life and a lot of her decisions on what other people would think, change?  Its hard to go; you know what, I don’t give a shit what those who mean the most to me think, THIS is me. Its really hard to train my brain to not care what people think when I slightly sing off key, that the one bung note does not make me a bad singer, it just means I went off tune.  That the way I veiw the world, is not incorrect, its just the way I see it from down here(and I mean that hight wise, not feeling wise).  That one shit stand-up gig means I should keep going forward and not give up, ’cause we’ve all had shit gigs.  Also that even though I was really freakin nervous the first two times on stage, that the nerves will always be there, but they will not navigate my show, I’ll do that.