The psychobabbling food-loving seamstress.

How to explain???

Posted in Uncategorized by Ambs on June 25, 2009

I’m not sure where to start, I’m still pretty numb, how do you react?

Someone I have just started working with took her own life today, I’m not sure how I feel.
It is safe to say, it has strengthened my resolve to become a psychologist, to help people understand the inner workings of the mind, and the physical detriment that comes of these situations.
I didn’t know this girl very well, but I was getting to know her, hell I’d say she was the kind of person I would hang out with on a regular basis.  She was not outgoing, but not quiet, and she seemed quite guarded to me.  In the last few weeks, she has repeated that she was really tired.  I’m not sure if I wondered then, or if this is just an after thought of what occurred today, but I know that feeling.  The erroneous tired feeling, it sticks to every muscle, it makes getting out of bed hard, the heavy head, the heavy heart, the dizziness, the lack of sleep, and the worst part, the brain that doesn’t stop thinking.  The exhaustion of depression and anxiety is hard.  The physicality of such a mental illness can bring more problems, as it is like poison physically, your body goes into self destruct mode.

My explanation of anxiety to those who aren’t sure what it feels like is;
Imagine the one thing that scares you, makes you stomach do flips, makes your hair stand on end, and your head go fuzzy.  Now imagine that instead of it being a fleeting feeling that goes as soon as it came, that it stays.  It won’t leave, it gets worse the more you fight it, and then leaves you in a scrawled up muddle on the floor crying, unable to realise its able to be beaten.

I have problems with the vast amount of medicinal quick fixes on the market in regards to anxiety and depression.  I have problems with these being more than a short-term help, but rather than a long-term addiction.  I’m upset that doctors do not try and ween their patients of these drugs, that they let them keep going.  The body needs time to regulate, and remember how to regulate ALL chemicals within the body, there has to be a way to re-teach it.  Not just let it slip into addiction, then normalcy, in which it takes a lot of physical sickness to get over, then hit a low, then re-learn again.  It is physically possible, but it takes a lot of time.