The psychobabbling food-loving seamstress.

A Complex Contradiction in terms…

Posted in crush, general musings, love, psychology, relationships, sex, writing by Ambs on January 1, 2011

“If she were only ordinary” – L.B.B Jeffries

This line from Rear Window bugs me oh so much.  It’s bought up the whore/madonna thing in my head again…

In Freudian psychoanalysis, this complex apparently only exists in men who have been bought up by cold/distant mothers.  This means the women they are in real relationships they love, but have problems being intimate with said person.  They feel comfortable being sexual with girls they see as “dirty”, and will not allow for loving feelings in these relationships.

I’ve been thinking about it a lot over the past year, and I know I contribute to the way men treat me, the way I talk to some of them, etc… As soon as intellectual conversation comes to the table some/most men switch off (the last one didn’t, and maybe that freaked me out a little too.  That and the rule of “intellectual conversation after sex”, but that put me in a tight spot too, as it put pressure on when I decided I was comfortable enough to sleep with him.  So really I couldn’t win! …and I wouldn’t conclude him as being an arse for doing that, obviously he was just try to speed up the process. I’m just too smart to let it get in the way of what I wanted.).  Then in relative terms any men I’ve been intellectually involved with get all weirded out as soon as any intimacy becomes involved.  Can’t win, I am either The Madonna or The Whore.

Could someone please tell me if men AT ALL have the capability to see a woman as a person who they can have amazing conversations with, and also have great sex with too?  I do know of one example, Geoffrey Robertson and Kathy Lette, there’s a couple I could imagine have a healthy intellectual and sexual relationship.
Then again, I can’t talk, I’ve only seen that in one man in my whole life… Oh wait maybe two or three, but I don’t count anyone I liked before the age of 25.

This has also bought up one of my other favourite parts of a movie:
Harry: He wants her to leave. That’s why he puts her on the plane.
Sally: I don’t think she wants to stay.
Harry: Of course she wants to stay. Wouldn’t you rather be with Humphrey Bogart than the other guy?
Sally: I don’t want to spend the rest of my life in Casablanca married to a man who runs a bar. That probably sounds very snobbish to you, but I don’t.
Harry: You’d rather be in a passionless marriage –
Sally: – and be the First Lady of Czechoslovakia –
Harry: – than live with the man… you’ve had the greatest sex of your life with, just because he owns a bar and that is all he does.
Sally: Yes, and so would any woman in her right mind. Women are very practical. Even Ingrid Bergman, which is why she gets on the plane at the end of the movie.

This is the other thing, boys talk about passion all the time, about how much they want it, but then they go off with the safe girls!? WTF? I don’t get it.
They talk of wanting strong independent women, then they shack up with chicks who suffocate their lives, while the rest of us live life in the single zone… *cue music* dodedodo dodedodo

Advertisements

The Groupie Phenomenon (and other things that shit me)…

Posted in crush, general musings, giggles, music, relationships, sex by Ambs on December 8, 2010

After reading Tony Martins latest blog, and the things that have been going on in my life over the last few weeks, I’ve been thinking about the groupie phenomenon again…
Why would a gal be with the most butt ugly guy ever? I asked myself that question everytime I would see the little weedy guy who was once in “Taxiride”(yeah remember them?), drag yet another girl into the toilet at a gig…

I’m genuinely a very shy person, it takes me a lot to trust… So I get frustrated at what I see as my cowardice, and drink to overcome it and the inevitable hi-jinx ensue…

This on plenty of occasions has caused me to be misconstrued, seen as a slut, or a groupie… I’m not down with any of it, especially after I’d heard somone saying I was only friends with a few of my friends to get closer to a band I loved… To that I still say fuck you, as I do things at my own pace, and if it takes time for people to see the real me, at least I know they are worth it. They stuck it out, and now they get me. In regards to the bands, actors and comedians, again, I’ll talk to them when we have something to talk about… Not just cause I want to get in their faces and say hi… Not my style…

I don’t sleep with people because of their status, or who they know. I’m
Extremely picky with the boys I like, I like brains over anything else.
There’s something about a smart man that entrances me….and blue eyes for that matter. Verbal, linguistic, men, those who know how to speak, colloquially, and precisely… And most of all, those who are as intense as I…

Notes on the one that got away…

Tagged with: , , ,

Posted in crush, general musings, love, relationships, writing by Ambs on June 15, 2010

I hate this stupid sick feeling, it’s sticking to every part of me at the moment. It’s like this dread, I just can’t shake it, really starting to weigh me down, I really don’t want to feel like this anymore. I need to allow my own emancipation…

Time to find myself again, I lose sight of myself far too often.
Actually that’s not true, I’m still me, just at times I’m 50x magnified, which can be scary.
Just want this horrible, sickly, heartbroken feeling to just go the hell away.

I should not need a stupid man to feel like that. I should feel great in myself.
Time to pep up again.

What a load of bollocks, getting this twisted over someone who should mean so little to me, as I mean so little to him…

Tagged with:

Suburban Blues…

Posted in comedy, crush, food, general musings, giggles, love, music, nom nom, relationships, writing by Ambs on April 29, 2009

I got the suburban blues.
The low-down-dirty-suburban-blues.

I want my inner-city comfort back.

Actually I want my own little slice of the inner-city.

Fitzroy is home, its my happy place at the moment(well it has been for about 10 years). Unless of course when I go overseas I find another happy place(NYC anyone?). Fitzy is it.

Feel like I’ve grown up there, I skipped classes at Tafe to go sit in cafes and read when I was 18/19/20.  I’ve fallen for 10 different Fitzroy boys in the last 10 years! That’s right, count ’em TEN!
I can name all of them too, egads! But I won’t.

I do wonder whatever happened to Brendan and Jack though, I’m sure I saw Jack about 5 years ago walking out from the milkbar and I ran.
I do however know that one of them is now in a rather large band I loved, and still do have my moments with. Andy Andy Eyecandy, best guns on the planet, and I blushed the day he lent over me and asked if there was anything interesting in Beat that day(he smelt sooo good!).  I’m meant to forget idiotic moments like that right?
Or the night that my bar crush took me aside and told me he wanted to chain me up and spank me(oh please don’t let my mum read this!), he disgustingly enough had/has a girlfriend. I decided against going near the bar again, on the grounds that he was a sleeze! Sad though, as they make the best hot chocolate on the planet, and his specialty was strawberry daquari’s, and they were goood!

There’s the Punters, gone and lost. The amazing gigs I saw there, I shan’t forget(The Meanies, Klinger, and Mrs Pinkwhistle, BEST GIG EVER!!!!), and I’ll never forget the last night of drunken frivolity.
Nights at the Evelyn(or the evilyn, depending on what happens really!), Pop, punk, giggles, and great music. Unforunately I never got to go to the Ev’ before it was reno’d, so no old school “I remember when the stage was at the front of the room” stuff from me.
The Vegie Bar, which I like, but used to love, they have gotten better, there was a period of blah though. The food wasn’t as good.
Joe’s Garage, great food, and lovely staff. I’ve never had bad food, or not felt relaxed or at home there.
Red Tongue, food good, staff lovely, good for a Sat/Sun morn brunch.
The Hideout, I miss, with all my sweet lil heart. Well I miss when Mary was managing it.
Akari 77, great Japanese food! I loooovvveee it!
Red Rice was okay.
Nights at Bar Open, lordy lord. Sometimes it’s bizarre. Okay embarrassing admission, I licked a random boys tattoo there one night, not sure why, safe to say that copious amounts of beer had been consumed!
The Spanish Club ❤ . My first night at Spanish Club, was the night that Tripod won me over. Was Radiohead night too. I remember 3 distinct moments that night, 2nd Drawer Down going for faarrrrrrr too long, The Gatesy Brigade sitting in front of me getting confused by the Tron joke, and me laughing my arse off, and The Gatsey Brigade hunting Gatesy down at the end of the night. I had honestly never seen a group of girls swarm a man so fast in my life. Well apart from Chris from TLE, but even they seemed not as vulturish. I said I wasn’t going to be one of those gals, technically I wasn’t, but I did kind of, in my own special way! I should go and see them again, am waiting for the rock opera we’ve been promised!
The Rob Roy, ahh so many good gigs! I’ve seen some great gigs there. I walked through the other night on my way to Trades, its different, and there were lots of business attired people in there. Where the hell is the band room now? Sad to see they couldn’t fix that steep stoop into the gals toilets, I’ve nearly fallen down that thing a billion times!!

Brunswick Street Bookstore <3!
Sheila Vintage, the new vintage shop, they actually have some nice stuff!
Polyester Books and Music… mmmm
Grub St books.

The list goes on, I should be living in Fitzroy.
If home is where the heart is, then I lost mine in Fitzroy.

Dismantling the pedestal…

Posted in crush, general musings by Ambs on April 29, 2009

So sometimes it’s easier to put someone up on it, it means you have something to aspire to be like, or to be with. If you leave them up there for long enough, bringing them down, gets harder and harder, but I’ll do it.
I will speak, blush, stammer, and giggle my way through the conversation, but by the end we’ll be on equal footing in my head, or I’ll at least be able to see what kind of contribution they could make to my life, even if it is a fleeting one.

I said I wasn’t going to do this again didn’t I?
I walked into this stupid thing a month ago,  saying I was going to be good, and smart, and not fall. I took the stupid break for a reason, so I could come back and not be a blabbering fangirl.

On the bright side, lesson hopefully learnt this time. Cross your fingers for me kids!