The psychobabbling food-loving seamstress.

And another….Hot Damn…

Posted in Uncategorized by Ambs on February 20, 2010

I’m boiling, this is ridiculous!  How I wish I was in Eastern Europe at the moment, winter winter every where!

I fell asleep for about 3 hours, now I’m wide awake again! bah!

I’m trying to remember what I’ve been wanting to write about this week, Depression and Sexual Impulse/Compulsion, my brand spankin’ new blog (currently under construction), my trip, and the fact that I am officially a student (finally!!!).  Oh and the usual law related rant…

Depression/Anxiety and the relativity of sexual desire/obsession.  When I was way way way down, deeply depressed, there were very few things that could get me motivated, one of them was going out and picking-up (or going after men I knew I had no chance with/shouldn’t. A.K.A. Using methods of avoidance, rather than dealing with what was really going on in my head).  I could never work out why I did it, as I’d feel even lower after, and couldn’t work out why my brain wouldn’t let me be happy after certain experiences.
I’ve been thinking about it in context lately, and realising that instant fleeting moment of sexual gratification is yet another method of avoidance.  So instead of staying home, sitting with how I felt, and writing, letting it out, I’d avoid it, and feel even lower after.  Learning that this is yet another pattern of avoidance (like binge-drinking), has bought some interesting clarity.  Some more to think about, it’s a nice realisation though, as I couldn’t work out a) why I kept doing it (or, more so having the intention to), and b) why I felt even worse after.
Just for the record, and to put it in context, that is strictly related to depression (well, my experience with it).
Most people use patterns of avoidance, depressed or not…
My sister for example, is notorious at avoiding doing assignments (she’ll leave it all to the last 2 weeks or so, this also goes for getting reports done!), will always find something to play with before she’ll settle.  Looking for music to listen to, buying things on the internet… etc…

The brand-spankin’-new-blog…
I had a moment last semester while I was doing QOT’s for a class at work, one of the comments caught my eye, “I wish we didn’t have to do so may Hypothetical’s”.  As I read this comment, I wondered why this person was bothering to study Law?
How else would you be able to consider the implications of law on society?
Even if not related to law exactly, the implications of how human beings interact with each other, and the products of these interactions.  One of the reasons I love going back over Geoffrey Robertson’s Hypothetical’s (Yes, this man gets a lot of mentions on my blog.  I will stop talking about him eventually), is because they bring about interesting debate on how different people view things, their actions based on these views, and the product of these action.
Although in a hypothetical situation, the products of these actions are always put in the hands of the person providing the hypothetical themselves.  More reasons why when the last GR hypo was conducted in Oz, you can hear Kim Beazley in the background loudly trying to dismantle what had just happened on stage (innocent man killed by SAS, as the incorrect intelligence information is provided.  Beasley said that it would never happen, as the SAS would confirm that the man was holding a gun and not a broomstick, as is later inferred.  But, the intelligence officer never confirmed before the shot was taken, so you can see why this is a believable outcome?  The shot was fired before confirmation, the intelligence officer should have inferred that this was part of the procedure, or the audience suspects that they shot to kill without he relevant intelligence.), but as far as I’m concerned, it is a believable outcome.
What does this have to do with the new blog?  Well, I am going o start a blog of hypotheticals and ask people to give their views on them.  Think it might be an interesting way of creating a bit of debate…
We’ll see how it develops…

My trip, ahh my trip, next year, gives me the chance to pay-off my debts, and make sure I have enough time off, so I can do most of what I would like to.  Estonia -> Latvia -> Poland -> Czeck Republic -> Austria -> Sarajevo (Bosnia and Herzegovina) -> (back to) Austria (or through Croatia, not sure just yet) -> Germany -> Switzerland -> France -> Scotland -> England -> NYC -> Philly -> Washington -> Nashville -> Memphis -> Las Vegas -> Los Angeles -> Hawaii -> Melbourne.  Will all be a matter of careful planning…

I have enrolled to do 4 CAP SUBJECTS!!!! YAY!  I am officially a student at Melbourne Uni.  Will be studying 2 Criminology subjects and two International Relations subjects.  Am trying to be accepted into a Bachelor of Arts, majoring in International Relations and Psychology, with a minor sequence in Criminology.  Very excited! 🙂

Another thing I have been musing about is Woody Allen, and this quote from Kathy Lette: “Word-play is foreplay for females. How else is Woody Allen still getting laid?”  Although said quote quite bugs me now, my response would be more so a quote from the movie Dazed and Confused: “I get older, they stay the same age”…

I get to the end with the full intent of writing about the lastest in Int. Law, and then I get tired…
I need sleep, but maybe you’ll all get lucky tomorry night!

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I should blog more often I know…

Posted in comedy, fashion, general musings, giggles, music by Ambs on August 19, 2009

Yeah, yeah I should blog more often.

I had something to blog about the other day, but I’ve completely forgotten what it was about.

May have been Myanmar, my shows, wanting to rip off Zimmerman & Sass & Bide, my dislike of Alannah Hill’s design (no form, no feed, and clashing together as many different textures and colours as you can into one outfit doesn’t make you cutting edge.), the tremendous help I’ve had from lecturers at my work on my show, the fact that things are pretty good.
I always wonder when things are going to go to shit in periods like this. “When will the world slap me upside the head?” I ponder…

I got my reading mojo back, it started with Harry Potter, then a little Shakespeare, now P&P, One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s nest, and Breakfast at Tiff’s. It’s nice to have it back, as I think next year I’ll have my head back in the books.

The show is really starting to write itself, which is such a fantastic feeling, its flowing, and these scripts are blowing me away.
While they’re all running on the same premise, the strength of every show always lies in a different area, which is what I wanted. They had to be strong in different parts, I want people to come to at least one or two of the weeks wondering how we’ll challenge the improvisors, and also not knowing what to expect.

I’m going to go back to my original solo-show idea, I made the newer version of the show too complicated for the moment.

Things at the moment are going well, which is nice. Doesn’t take much for my nerves to kick in though.

Oh and work is busy, and even days like today, when I kept getting errors when running reports, I still enjoy it. I really like my job, and really love what I do. I also really believe in the course, partially because I want to do it, and combine it with an LLM at NYU.
Bah, have to get through Arts/Psych first!

Just feels like everythings going really well, and it was me that made it go well. My life turned around, not miraculously, not because someone took pity on me, but because I worked to turn it around.